9782 west woodhaven drive

?? WARNING: NOT FOR SUBDIVISION SOFTIES. NO HOA. NO OVERBEARING LAWS. JUST 4.7 ACRES OF PURE FREEDOM. ?? Are you tired of the neighborhood subdivision police sending you a certified letter because your trash cans were out two hours past prime time? Welcome to your 350-foot private driveway of pure, unadulterated liberty in Crystal River. This isn't a house; it’s an independent republic on 4.71 acres of high-and-dry, heavily wooded fortress. THE INTEL ON YOUR NEW COMPOUND: The $10K War Chest + Armor: Seller is handing you a $10,000 CREDIT at closing! Plus, zero anxiety—recent clean 4-point inspection, clean septic, and a Wind Mit stating 20 YEARS OF LIFE REMAINING. The Insurance Plot Twist: Don't let automated online flood algorithms trick you—combined homeowners AND flood insurance is UNDER $400/MONTH, and this dirt has NEVER FLOODED. The Dirt: Nearly 5 acres of thick, dense "Old Florida" woods. Want to build a 3-story workshop? Go for it. Want to park a fleet of scalloping boats, three tractors, and a decommissioned tank? The HOA doesn't exist here to stop you, because there is NO HOA. The Bunkhouse: A rock-solid, spacious 1,800-square-foot setup. Clean, move-in ready, and perfectly designed to let you live in absolute peace. The "Midnight Sun" Device: Equipped with actual, full-property LED STADIUM LIGHTS. We aren't talking about a couple of solar porch lights from Home Depot. We are talking about the power to turn a pitch-black Florida night into 2:00 PM on a Tuesday with the flip of a single switch. Work on your boat at 3:00 AM, host a midnight football game, or just scare the absolute daylights out of the local raccoons. You control the sun now. The Infinite Water Glitch: Public water for the house so you don't have to worry, plus a private well for 100% FREE yard irrigation. The Grid: Tucked away in total seclusion, yet somehow only minutes from the boat ramps, springs, and cold beer of downtown Crystal River. The price just took a hit because the seller is ready to move on. Bring your trucks, bring your boats, and bring your sense of adventure. Call before someone else buys it and starts their own country.